Why Your Self-confidence Doesn't Last
Have you ever noticed that your confidence is subjective? Sometimes you feel confident and other times you don’t. Let me give you an example. Overall, I have pretty killer self-confidence. I feel good about myself the majority of the time, I try things that most people are afraid to do, and I am pursuing all of my dreams. But in spite of all of that, even my self-confidence gets tested sometimes. This is normal.
I recently started working on a new venture. After years of putting it off, I've decided to sing, write, and record music. Music was always one of my first loves, but during my adolescent years, I did not have the self-confidence to put myself out there.
Now, I am twenty fifteen years old. That is 35 years old in layman's terms. And I am finally going for it. I’ve been encouraged by friends and family members, to share my original songs, and unique singing voice with the world. I started taking weekly voice lessons with a group of local singers. Boy, has it been a challenge!
Vocal lessons require more effort than I imagined. I had no idea that singing was so much work. The professionals make it look so effortless. Not to mention, I am being critiqued in front of a group of people. At first, I was super nervous to sang acapella on the spot every week. I wasn’t as bold as I usually am. The good news is, I was brave enough to try and consistent enough to stick with it. It took courage to be the least experienced vocalist in the room, yet sing anyway.
Why this matters to you
I am sure you’re thinking, that’s a cute story in all, but how does that apply to my life? Well... if a confident life coach, like myself, experiences those issues sometimes, I figure, you probably do too. The reason why most people struggle with self-confidence is because they don’t approach their self-confidence holistically. Everyone has some level of self-confidence but it’s usually limited. I coach clients who have no idea how amazing they are until they finish my program. They gain the tools to face the discomfort, overcome hurdles, and live a purposeful life.
In my case, I felt extremely uncomfortable, but I stuck it out. Most people don’t ever make it to the place where I am. They either never try the thing that scares them, or they get discouraged and give up entirely too soon. They are confident about a few things but lack confidence in many others areas.
I am not suggesting that you should feel confident in abilities that you do possess. Rather, I am suggesting that you feel confident in who you are. You have to learn to separate your identity from your actions. It’s all about your perspective. When you know who you are, and you build your self-confidence holistically, you won’t be so quick to run for the hills when things get tough. Don’t force yourself into a profession that you suck at. If you are required to do something, then do it. But if you have no rhythm, a dancing career may not be for you. In my situation, I’m just a little rusty and I need some practice.
But here's the thing...I have a solid level of self-confidence to stand on. I know who I am, whether I sing pitchy or smoothly. Anytime, I’m faced with new challenges, I coach myself through them. I am more than willing to address my issues. And you can do the same. When you learn to make your self-confidence work for you, feelings of unworthiness lose their power. You can feel good about yourself anywhere you go, even if you do something you’re not that good at.